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September 20, 2017 by dee

GH was a good match in a lot of ways; even though we met on a dating site, OkCupid, it felt like a connection with real potential. maybe even levels of potential.

however… i knew almost immediately that it wasn’t going to work, that there wasn’t long-term potential. the hallmark of this relationship was almost. 

he was (and is) good-looking, smart, in possession of good taste (too rare a quality) and we even shared some similar background (our respective stints in the evangelical church) and current values. even though everything else was above average, the sex wasn’t right; it wasn’t working for me. to put it bluntly, my orgasm became the unicorn of our bedroom activities–mythological. like i said before, i knew preeeety much immediately that it wasn’t going to work… so why did i attempt a relationship and remain monogamous for three months??

because he was handy, and i was remodeling my place. and i enjoyed his company–he was a good partner on projects, a good date on the town, and a pleasant outdoor adventure companion. i liked the level of attention he provided, and his enthusiasm made up where mine lacked.

ii mostly did right by him, communicating pretty early on about my concerns; i probably should have ended it sooner than i did though. i knew that he was ready to “invest in one person” (his words) and that i wasn’t going to be that person. it came down to an either-or: either i can have sex with other people (an open relationship), or i need to move on.

monogamy was his bottom line, and i couldn’t do it. it was an uneventful, tear-free ending.